How to Win Custody

No one wins a custody battle, and if your motives to learn how to win custody is revenge, or spite, think again.  Your goal, and the only reason to get custody is because you believe as caregiver, you will provide the most suitable environment for the welfare of, and in the best interest of your child/children.

Ok, so you've tried and haven’t been able to come together on a fair and reasonable child custody agreement.  You’ve tried a mediator to help in resolving your custody issues and that didn’t work.   When all else fails, it’s time to turn the matter over to Family Court.

Let’s look at a few considerations that may be helpful in your efforts to get custody.

Once you know the custody case will have to go to court, hiring a great family law attorney is the first step.  As we know this can be an expensive undertaking.  There are things you can do to minimize the expense and we’ll touch on later.  You know the old adage “Time is money”.

DO’s of How To Win Custody:

• Do make sure that the lawyer you hire is the lawyer that will be representing you in the court room, no associates.
• Do remember that honest communication is key, never lie or embellish, lies usually catch up to you.
• Do make sure you tell your attorney everything about yourself and the other parent.  Leave nothing out.  This includes information that you might think damaging to you and information that might seem worthless.  Tell your lawyer everything!  In order for your attorney to build a strong case, you want him/her to have all the necessary information.
• Do gather evidence, keep a journal of everything relevant (the things you do, how your children act, what they say, etc.) and it should also include when you deal with your spouse.   Document unhappy times your child experiences with the other parent.   How the child/children is being cared for, any situation that may be of concern.  Jot down the amount of time you spend with your child, and any activities you do together.  Any disputes over the children you might have. It’s not a bad idea to collect photos showing you and your child for the court to see.
• Do prove you are the best choice to care for your child/children. Outline why You should have custody.
• Do provide a list of witnesses, from doctors, teachers and daycare workers to family friends and neighbors who have knowledge of your family situation and can speak to how good you are to your kids and give eyewitness accounts of problems regarding your ex.
• Do keep every doctors appointment, teachers conference, and event at school and get to know each one of them.

Once you’ve told your attorney everything then you need to listen to your attorney. Do everything he/she says.

DON’Ts of How To Win Custody:

• Don’t just do some of the things, do everything.  Don’t think that you know better than your lawyer.  If you want to get custody then you have to trust your attorney and do everything your attorney tells you to do.
• Don’t lie.
• Don’t use your lawyer as a therapist.
• Don’t have a romantic relationship with your attorney.
• Don’t forget to pay your lawyer.  The last thing you want to happen is for your attorney to be asked to be removed from the case because you failed to pay him/her.  This would cause major problems when trying to win custody of your children.
• Don’t move out if your divorce isn’t final, you want to keep contact with your kids every day.

When dealing with your spouse do your best to be nice and polite.   Do not engage in fighting, when tempers flair and we angry there's always a chance to say or do something that you’ll later regret.

Finally, make sure you show up to court on time and dressed nicely. Be calm, truthful, and polite in court.   Follow the instructions that your attorney has given you and try not to worry too much.  It will be very stressful, but you need to have faith that the court will do what’s best for your children.

Of course, there are no guarantees, which is why it’s usually best for parents to decide custody on their own.  But when that’s not possible then you have to turn to the courts.  And when you turn to the courts, make sure you've done your homework and know how to win custody of your children, that you do the things it takes to give you the best chance of winning, like knowing your child custody rights.